I have had lots of time to think about life and what is relevant to the time and the 100 years we live and here are my thoughts. friends will leave as soon as it's convenient but family will stay until the end. true friends cry when you leave, fake friends leave when you cry. people often stop or give up when things are thought. But there will always be another chance. Don't give up because of one bad chapter going on in your life, keep going your story does not end there. people don't understand how people work they come when you are not ready and leave when you need the most. You can take pills, and you can be the funniest guy anyone will ever meet but every human walks around with a certain kind of sadness, they may not wear it on their sleeves but it's there if you look deep. People blame their sadness on depression but there is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy. They live their life always looking back at what they did wrong not what they can do to fix that mistake. Many people say "if you do/say it enough it will stay" well heads up, fake a smile and move on. You can't desire happiness because it creates only unhappiness and nothing else. In science, you learn about the food chain and how it has a balance and without that balance, it would collapse well for humans, Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.  It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity. I know how I said to fake a smile because it would stick but facking a smile is so much easier than telling why you are sad. You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness. you can't always hide the pain there will be times when you need to let it out. life goes on whether you chose to move on and take a chance in the unknown or stay behind, locked in the past, thinking of what you should have been. life is wrong because the person who tries to keep the world happy often feels the loneliest.  A wise man once said to me "don't get lost in your pain because one day your pain will be your cure". you can hide away the pain for years but  Time doesn't only ehal the heart. It makes the heart forget about the pain.  I guess my problem is  I'm afraid to be happy because whenever I do get too happy. something bad always happens.  I like to cry in the rain because nobody can see my pain.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that tears come from the heart not the brain